No Love For Tamaki
by College Fool
Summary: Tamaki is a guy who gets no love. C.C. has no love left to give. Theirs is a hate-mock relationship. Quad-fic of a crack pairing never seen before. Complete as is.
1. Dinner and a NotDate

When Zero found Tamaki in C.C.'s clutches, he wondered if it was worth it.

Actually, let's try that again.

When C.C. went out of her way to save Tamaki on the battlefield by catching his latest escape pod from plummeting into the Ocean in the middle of a Britannian task force, Zero wondered if the series of events was worth his sanity. Tamaki was patently worthless by his measure. Not once had the Japanese man done anything of importance, not once had he proven his worth, and it had taken quite some time for Zero to finally confirm that Tamaki's loud mouth did not, in fact, hide the existence of a brain, and that only dumb luck (the only type Tamaki seemed capable of) allowed him to survive for so long.

As much fun as it was to watch C.C. mercilessly torment the intellectually inferior man, bringing up his past tales of bravado even as she carried him back to the Black Knight's base and getting a storm of storm of curses and insults in return, it would have been even more amusing had anything Tamaki said actually affected C.C. in any way. But, Zero mused, that was to be expected from one with centuries of hatred.

As luck would have it, Zero began paying attention just as Tamaki spoke directly to him. Not that Zero intended to, but it was inadvisable to prepare for landing on a submarine with less than complete attention. Tamaki had proven that on more than one occasion. (Zero conveniently forgot such minor details as battle damage leaving a lack of legs, a sheet of ice on deck, or attempting to make room for Zero himself.)

"You wouldn't let her do that, would you Zero? You won't let her make me into her slave, would you?"

"Of course not," Zero replied automatically. "We of the Black Knights fight for equality and against the abuse of power, and slavery is one such abuse." Tamaki crowed.

"However," Zero continued, not at all because of the look he was getting from the fellow occupant, "it would still be best to show your appreciation for the favor she did for you, would it not?"

"But…!"

"Nonsense," Zero continued. "C.C. saved you from what would likely have been a seemingly eternity of misery in Britanian hands, ended only with your surely painful execution. What are trivial tasks in return? It would show the rest of the Black Knights that our top members do not hold themselves above thanking and returning the favor to those who help them."

C.C. grinned, but this was not a smile of happiness and contentment. This one displayed teeth, and inside the mask Zero shivered in inescapable sympathy for Tamaki. As C.C. began listing the numerous, and often degrading, chores that needed doing around her chambers, and Tamaki was mercifully silent in his misery, Zero silently searched for any excuse to return to Ashford for another week.

In the end, though, sympathy won out, and he limited it to a day.

--

Despite their eccentricities, all of the older Black Knights were friends, after a fashion. Certainly not in the "I might date them if they are of the opposite gender" sort of friends, but friends. Maybe even family, in a dysfunctional sort of way.

So when word got around that Tamaki had been convinced (forced, in the minds of everyone else) to serve C.C. for some short time, a number of them came by when word spread that he was busy cleaning her room.

Mind you, some of them came to laugh, and none intending to help, but it's the thought that counts.

Ohgi, for lack of anything better to do at the moment, came by multiple times to check on how the progress was coming. Over the hours, it went something like this.

"How much of the stuff does she eat, anyways? For god's sake, why isn't she fat yet?" Tamaki said as he hauled yet another pizza box out from under the bed. C.C., who had returned to watch her temporary slave at work, began to thank him for the calling her thin in her own sarcastic way as Ohgi quickly remembered a very pressing matter to take up with Deithard.

"Woman! I just cleaned up that spot!" he yelled, as C.C. pushed junk into a corner on her way to lay down on her bed.

"Just between you and me, man," Tamaki whispered to Ohgi, "in all the time I've been picking stuff up, I haven't seen a single undergarment. Hundreds of socks, a dozen of her creepy-ass bondage suits, but not a single bra or panty. I'm not sure to be thankful, or worried as to what she's wearing now." Ohgi's sense of smell of the room went on paranoia alert as C.C. walked by.

When C.C. talked to someone only she could see, Ohgi and Tamaki quickly made a temporary escape. Ohgi didn't even complain when Tamaki passed him a trash bag to carry out for him.

"How many Britannian prison suits does this woman have?" Tamaki asked as he washed them. "And why isn't there anything else? My point from earlier still stands. I hope to god she wears something else under these, or my hands will never feel clean again." Ohgi agreed, thinking to his own stumbling block to taking care of Chigusa.

"No, you crazy Brit! If you want to find her diary, clean the room yourself!" Tamaki exclaimed after Deithard began to try and pry any details of C.C. out from the slave.

--

Later that evening, when Kallen, searching for something to eat, found Tamaki in the kitchen in an orange apron that said "Kiss the Cook", she felt she had to ask. That was her first mistake, though to be fair he had almost died that day, and he was pseudo-family, in a third-cousin-I-only-see-at-the-ten-year-reunion sort of way.

"Cooking the Witch dinner," he answered.

"Which witch?" Kallen asked. Tamaki was fond of referring to most any woman he despised as "that damn witch," though strangely he rarely said so their faces.

"Green hair. Always near Zero. Tried to bite my head off. THE Witch. Said she wanted a home-cooked meal and a nice evening in exchange for my freedom."

Ah, that would explain it. C.C. was an exception to that rule after past incidents, which Kallen still had trouble believing. "I didn't know you could cook," Kallen ventured for something else to say.

"I don't. Not well, anyway. I used to cook on my own, but it was nothing special. Want some?" he offered, indicating the surplus food he had cooked up.

As Kallen reached out to sample what appeared to be desert, Tamaki grabbed her hand. "Not that batch, trust me. That's for the witch."

--

Rakshata stared at the moron in front of her. Only practice kept her pipe from dropping to the floor.

"You want candles."

"What, did I stutter? If you don't got any, tell me and I'll look somewhere else."

"You came to the engineering sector, home of some of the most advanced high-technology in the world, for something as basic and primitive as candles. I work with machines that shoot lights of death, monitors that can give you seizures, and electronics beyond your comprehension, and you ask me for candles? What makes you think I would have any?"

"You're Indian, aren't you? Aren't you people supposed to use them a lot for various cultural things? Look, I wouldn't be asking this, but green-witch said I had to give her a candlelight dinner if I was to be let off the hook. Blame her."

It was a stupid answer, but at least it made some sort of primitive sense. "Wait right here, and never ask this of my again."

--

Ohgi and Kallen looked on with awe at C.C.'s room. Zero's mysterious accomplice had left the room and given Tamaki thirty minutes to set up, and curious members of the Black Knights had popped in to see how Tamaki would manage.

So far, it had been surprisingly impressive for one with Tamaki's talents. The room was clean, the lights were dimed and tasteful candles lit, a covered table stood in one corner, and even the meal looked attractive. Having sampled some of his 'safe' culinary creations, Kallen would even admit, under threat of torture and worse, that the food was actually edible and somewhat enjoyable.

Tamaki had even cleaned himself up, at the order of the green witch. He had thoroughly scrubbed in a shower to the point that his skin was red, he was dressed in a smart tux (though, by C.C.'s orders, he still wore his apron), and he had even shaved. He had a plethora of nicks and cuts to prove it.

All it needed was an instrumental accompaniment. And C.C. had ordered.

"I didn't know you knew how to play the violin, Tamaki," Kallen said, a bit awed at his skill in setting the evening.

"I don't," he winced, "and the bitch knows it. This is going to hurt me more than her."

--

Kallen's second mistake was to try and spy on C.C.'s dinner. A half hour layer, as tortured strings cried out and were accompanied by C.C.'s laughter and Tamaki's curses and insults even as he played host, Kallen and Ohgi silently agreed with Tamaki's earlier assessment.

--

At the end of the meal, Tamaki was almost ready to collapse. Standing on his feet playing horrible music hurt, and to make it worse the green haired woman hadn't even touched the desert, instead focusing on the hand-made pizza he hadn't been able to bring himself to taint. The day had been exhausting, from cleaning to cooking to managing this perverse farce of a nice evening, and Tamaki was ready to collapse on his bed once this was over. Just keeping up in his war of words with the witch would have tired most women out. (To most this would sound sexist, but please remember that Tamaki spent most of his life being outclassed by other women in all regards.)

C.C. daintily tapped her napkin to clean off the last smudge of pizza, and stood up. "Thank you for the wonderful evening. I enjoyed it very much," she said in a tone that was impossible to decipher sincerity from sarcasm. Ignoring Tamaki's growls, she continued. "I will give you enough time for your two final tasks."

"First, clear this up," she said, indicating the table. Tamaki had resigned himself to that already.

"Second, it's far too cold in here for me to go to sleep. Warm up my bed for me before I return." Then she left without a look back.

Tamaki, already tenses, trembled and glared at the candles lining the room. He'd warm her bed alright…

--

"Tamaki," Ohgi moaned, as fire-control teams rushed towards the source of the smoke.

"It was an accident, I swear! I only meant for the bed, not the room!"

--

A few more hours later, Tamaki trudged back to his room. On the door was a note.

_I look forward to saving your life again._

_-C.C._

Tamaki growled and tore off the note before entering his own room. Not even bothering to turn on the lights to undress, he simply kicked off his boots and threw the tux parts in the general direction of his desk before collapsing on his bed.

Or tried to, anyway. The bed was already occupied, and the dim lights from the hallway showed the green hair of its occupant. With a loud oomph, Tamaki fell onto the floor and began to crawl backwards, stumbling over words to say. C.C. sat up, wiping at her eyes.

"You! What… how… why…!" the Japanese man bit out.

"My bed is not only still cold, but now wet," C.C. said. "I needed a new room until mine is fixed. You owe me, remember."

"This is my room, you damn woman! And that's my bed!"

C.C. blinked. "Nothing's stopping you from getting in, you know."

Tamaki blanched and looked ill at the very insinuation, and then yelled and ran out of the room. C.C. smirked at his back.

"See?" C.C. said to the voice only she could hear, "Single occupancy isn't so hard to get." She cocked her head. "Would it have mattered if he chose otherwise?" She shrugged. "Not really."


	2. Bite Me

Not quite as good as my first one, I admit. Less in character, more crackish without support. The next one is much works well with this one, though.

--

"Bite Me"

--

As was customary, Zero's mask betrayed nothing. His silence was deafening, however.

"Zero!" cried Tamaki, scrambling out from his compromising position. "Thank God you showed up! You're a miracle! She-" he exclaimed, pointing a finger at C.C., "was about to eat me alive! Probably going to suck my blood while she was at it! She's not human, I tell you!"

As Tamaki rambled on, Zero and C.C. traded stares. Remarkably Zero backed down first. "Tamaki, Ohgi needs help on the bridge. Go."

Tamaki scrambled to put as much distance between himself and the green haired girl as he could, loudly thanking Zero as he did. He never noticed that both had stopped paying attention to him.

After he left, C.C. broke the silence that fell again. "He's not going to leave your side for anything for the next week, you know," said the witch.

"Fortunately, I have things to do at Ashford. I will manage." Zero's strong voice showed no sign of thankful relief.

Zero's accomplice raised her eyebrow, knowing more. "So your friends and teachers have been after you as of late? Or maybe even a certain girl?"

"I have no time for this now," Zero said, cutting off that line of thought. "I will be gone for a week, and you know what you need to do. But rest assured, we will talk about this later."

--

Later, in the cafeteria, Tamaki was telling anyone who would listen about his narrow escape from tragedy. Ohgi, on one hand, was trapped along with him. On the other hand, so were some fresh recruits who knew nothing about the Black Knight's highest members. It was amusing to see them get aclimated, in a morbid way.

"I don't get it," said one of the snot-nosed punks (in Tamaki's not-so-private opinion that more than a few of the old-timers agreed with). "So you're having an argument with that green-haired chick we see around with Zero, then next thing you know she's all over you. What's not to like?"

"Haven't you been paying attention?" demanded Tamaki. "I'm telling the broad off, tell her to bite me, and when I wake up she's starting to do just that! That's assault, I tell you! She's got fangs!"

No one responded, which likely had something to do with the white-clad arm that proceeded to wrap around Tamaki. "Oh," cooed the broad in question, "does big ol' Tamaki not care for my tender affections? I was just giving you what you asked for." What otherwise could have been an arousing performance was utterly shattered by the tone of C.C.'s voice and the over-fluttering of eyelashes.

At least, mused Ohgi as he watched Tamaki leap into the air with curses on his lip, this had some comedic value. He wondered if he could explain it to Chigusa the next time he saw her.


	3. Reasons Why

Among the Black Knights, it was increasingly a routine occurrence. C.C. and Tamaki would exchange insults and barbs. C.C. would always come out ahead, Tamaki would be speechless with anger, and at the end, C.C. would make Tamaki retreat in a blathering fury with some sort of mock advance.

Only one person ever questioned why C.C. made those advances at Tamaki.

Most clearly saw that there was no hint of any sort of love between them. Anyone in doubt after witnessing C.C.'s acidic sarcasm flaying Tamaki alive would be firmly convinced by the sincerity (and volume) of Tamaki's declarations of eternal hatred for the woman and all that she did.

Some saw it as a mind game on C.C.'s part. Tamaki, for all his virtues, was not the smartest man, and so others with higher intellects could appreciate a hobby of verbally beating the man who didn't know when to quit.

A few, more analytical, minds noted that C.C. only made such proposals to Tamaki. A little bit of thinking would reassure them that this was because C.C. knew that Tamaki would only flee in horror from them, and so those advances were merely another form of attack.

Tamaki would loudly say that the green-haired woman did it to get under his skin, and that he would sooner bed a scorpion. Many were surprised that the man even knew what a scorpion was.

But only Zero, in the privacy of his own quarters, ever asked C.C. herself.

"Why? Why do you want to know? Jealous, are we? What happened to the girl, Shirley?"

"Hardly jealous, witch. Merely curious."

"Hm... I suppose it's because he hates me so sincerely."

"Really? So have many others. Such as myself."

"True, but they hated me for what I was, not who I was. At the start even you hated me for what my powers did to you, still do to you."

"I'd say I've gotten better. I can hate you for all sorts of reasons now that I've gotten to know you."

"Haha, true, and that's part of your charm. But he's hated me for being me from the start. He doesn't even know that I really am a witch."

"And that makes a difference?"

"…in my experience, it's a welcome relief to everything else."

Only Zero would ever ask, but even then the answer would only make sense after he learned the nature of C.C.'s own geass.


	4. Go Tamaki, It's Your Birthday

A couple notes.

This had been intended to be a one-shot like the others, but it quickly grew into its own story. Still, consider it in the same universe/vein as the rest of "No Love For Tamaki". I may even do a more Kallen-focused retelling as a twin-fic, depending on how my college load is. If you can't stand Lulu's-harem/people-other-than-Lelouch, why are you here?

As for the cannon-compatibility of this fic, don't bother. There really isn't a time it fits in, and that's deliberate. Rather than thinking "ok, so Kallen doesn't know Suzaku is an enemy pilot, but there's an aerial battle over the Pacific in the other fic, so…," just imagine that, in some AU there's a rebellion where the Black Knights can be fighting over the Pacific in one frame and then hours later be in mainland Japan. I also took liberties in C.C. not being recognized, and you'll just have to not look into it too hard. It's not supposed to make sense, but rather capture the feel of an indeterminate time during the Rebellion.

Finally, and I only caught this in the last episode, but Tamaki (may have) scored with someone (not C.C.). I kid you not. When Tamaki's in the hospital, crying that he can still fight, there's a purple-haired Black Knight bridge-bunny who's showed up over the season, who is holding his hand and going "sempai…"

Which, in Sunrise anime terms, is the equivalent of "I love you and want to have your babies," just as standing next to someone in a photograph implies you are having a romantic relationship. (That's a joke by the way.)

But still, it looks like I was wrong. Tamaki does get love from a nameless bridge bunny. Who knew?

College Fool doesn't own Code Geass.

--

Go Tamaki, It's Your Birthday

--

Tamaki's birthday was far from his best day of the year. It might have had something to do with waking up at the obscene hour of three with something tickling his face.

That something happened to be green hair, but when he opened his eyes all he could see was C.C.'s face hovering above his own. Not (thank god) descending, not (god damnit) rising away, but simply hovering and staring.

"Ah," said C.C. as Tamaki's remaining brain cells came on line, "you're finally awake." No hint of expression was on her face or in her voice.

Tamaki yelped, and in his hurry to scramble out from under her banged his head on the wall at the head of his bunk. "What are you doing here, witch?!" he demanded.

"It's your birthday. I've been told it's good to surprise people on their birthdays," she said with a perfectly straight face.

"Oh, and there's an enemy force about an hour away," she continued before Tamaki could fully describe what he thought of her surprise. "The intercom for this section is broken, so I've been waking everyone up and you're last. I was wondering how long it would take you to wake up, or if I'd have to resort to other means." That was when Tamaki noticed the half-filled bucket of water in C.C.'s hand.

"Normally I would have done the hand-in-water trick, or gone straight to the bucket, but like I said, it's your birthday."

Tamaki, who had been a victim more than once of the hand-in-water trick, growled but decided that she had taken the better alternative. "Fine," he bit out.

C.C. simply stood there. Tamaki stared, C.C. stared back. Tamaki kept staring, and C.C. kept watching back.

"You can leave now," Tamaki finally said.

"Yes," C.C. agreed, "I can." She stood still.

"I have to change into my pilot suit."

"That would probably be a good idea," she agreed.

"To do that would require me to undress," he pointed out.

"It gets rather uncomfortable in those suits otherwise, yes. I've noticed that too. I think the creators had women in mind when they came up with the design and fabric."

"It would require me to undress here, in my room."

"I never would have thought you to be an exhibitionist in the hallway," C.C. reassured.

"You are currently in my room. Where I need to undress, to get into the piloting suit."

"I suppose I am. Don't mind me, though."

"Get out!" Tamaki finally yelled.

"What," asked C.C., her sneer coming on her face, "do you think you have anything I haven't seen better of before?"

When Tamaki came into Ohgi's room to change, Ohgi just sighed and faced the other wall.

--

Another day, another battle, another proof that Tamaki was no match for the white-head. It only got better when C.C. once again caught him ejecting before going over the ocean.

"What do you want this time, woman?" he demanded once all forces returned home.

"Oh?" C.C. asked coyly. "I wasn't even saying anything."

"Don't give me that. Woman, you always want something when they help you. Always. Just tell me already so we can get this over with."

"Well…" C.C. began, "I hadn't been going to ask anything on account of this being your birthday, but if you insist I suppose I have no choice…"

Tamaki groaned.

--

As Tamaki was awarded the title of "250th Victim of the White Head" at a late breakfast (to go along with his title of 7th, 23rd, 78th, and 122nd Victim of the White Head, an organizational record), Ohgi saddled up next to him.

"Good to see you're still alive, at least," he said to his old friend.

"At least? Thanks a lot, bro," moaned the miserable one.

"I didn't mean it like that," Ohgi reassured. "So what's the price this time around?"

Tamaki moaned again, and sunk his head lower into his arms. Whatever he said was unintelligible.

"Sorry? I didn't catch that."

Tamaki said it again, but all Ohgi heard was "day off." He blinked. "You have to take the day off? That's not too bad a birthday present."

Tamaki lifted his head and looked annoyed. "No, not a day off. I have to take today off and-" unfortunately, a cart rolled past them and Tamaki's words were drowned out. Ohgi lifted his hand to his ear.

Tamaki, quite clearly, said, "I have to take today off and-" before he was interrupted by yet another Black Knight, one of the newer ones who hadn't learned to stay away yet.

"So Tamaki," the nameless grunt said as he set his food down, "I heard you got saved by C.C. again. What do you have to do this time?"

Tamaki stood up, and yelled, so no one would not hear him (whether they wanted to or not). "I have to spend my day taking the damn witch out to an amusement park, however long she wants!"

All noise in the cafeteria stopped. Everyone faced Tamaki, looks of disbelief and pity on the faces of those who knew C.C. and Tamaki personally and looks of disbelief and envy on the faces of the males who didn't.

Kallen, who had walked past with a plate of food meant for Zero, dropped her plate in surprise. One purple-haired knight fainted, but nobody noticed.

There was a tap on Tamaki's shoulder, and C.C. was there behind him.

"If you stand me up, I'll skin you alive."

--

When Kallen finally told Zero what had occurred, Zero sighed and resigned himself to something he had never imagined in his worst nightmares: he would have to help Tamaki. Guilt had absolutely nothing to do with it: after all, it had been some long-dead Britannian prince who had banned C.C. from going to an amusement park unsupervised, not the revolutionary leader Zero. Zero just had too many duties to attend to play chaperone. And so a half hour later, in the privacy of his own quarters, Zero was giving Tamaki coaching advice on how to care for C.C.

"She will try and put you in a compromising position to humiliate you. Man up and take the shame, because there's no way out of it."

"You must not let her out of your sight. She will leave at the worst moments, and find some way to wander in the middle of a Britannian intelligence unit. Don't let that happen."

"If she says she's hungry, she wants pizza. If she asks if you're hungry, she wants pizza. If she looks to be distracted for no reason, she wants pizza. If you look to be distracted, she will assume you want pizza as well. Are you noticing a trend here? No, don't answer that."

"She can be easily amused. The more innocent the activity, the better. Try and get her distracted at a video game arcade. I'd tell you to purposely lose to her, but I don't think that will be an issue."

"She's stubborn, foolish, and not easy to compromise. For most other people I'd say that would be a good match, but try not to escalate the situation. No, don't give me that look, I know you two are like gasoline and napalm."

"And remember," Zero said, watching as Tamaki frantically wrote down on a note pad, "C.C. is a very important member of the Black Knights. Guard her with your life even as you make sure she enjoys the day. And," Zero sighed, reaching under his cloak and retrieving a black credit card, "try not to let her bankrupt us. Our finances are good, but not that good."

--

It was, sadly, just as Zero predicted in every regard. Kallen, tracking the two on Zero's behalf and making sure that C.C. didn't get captured, could only marvel at the accuracy of Zero's predictions.

She also couldn't help but smile at Tamaki's discomfort. The man had long ago stopped actively fighting against C.C.'s charade, but still refused to play the part of publicly-shy boyfriend taking his younger girlfriend to the amusement park, though C.C. clung to his arm and had a fond smile on her face that Kallen _knew_ wasn't in C.C.'s normal library of facial expressions.

Of course, Tamaki's misery and private freak outs were the only reason C.C. did so, but what did that matter? C.C. could jab Tamaki at every turn, and for once he couldn't publicly return the favor.

Privately, on the other hand…

--

The first moment of near-disaster didn't come when C.C. ran into Britannian special forces, but rather when Kallen nearly trampled over Suzaku while trying to keep her attention on C.C., who was beginning to look impatient as Tamaki took his time in a restroom.

"I'm sorry!" the two Japanese exclaimed at the same time from the ground.

Picking himself up, Suzaku began to offer a hand to her, but trailed off as he recognized her. "Kallen…?"

"Suzaku!" Kallen meeped, surprised and embarrassed. "Sorry! I didn't see you!" Even more embarrassing than running into him was that, stunned and flat on her back, she couldn't get back up.

"That's alright," he said, offering a hand, "but what are you doing here?" He began looking around as she steadied herself, and Kallen was suddenly very aware that only a chain link fence, easily bound-able to the most athletic person at school, separated him from C.C., who Zero called one of the most-wanted people in Britannia. The possibility was terrifyingly obvious.

"Nothing!" she exclaimed, a bit too hastily. Suzaku gave her a look, and she scrambled to come up with an excuse. Putting on her best meek school-girl façade, she lowered her voice. "Actually, I was asking about getting a part time job here, but they told me to apply online. It's sort of embarrassing, so don't tell anyone alright?"

Suzaku bought it hook, line, and sinker once the metaphorical hook of trust was given. "Don't worry, Kallen. It's just a surprise to see someone else from the Student Council here." From the corner of her eye, Kallen watched as C.C. started to look for places to wander off to.

"Oh, you aren't here with the Student Council?" she asked, part curious and part determined to keep Suzaku's attention focused away from C.C.

"No, I'm afraid not. They said they were going shopping for festival supplies today, remember?" Seeing her blank look, Suzaku hit himself on the head. "Right, you were sick that day. You wouldn't know. I'm sorry. Are you feeling better?"

Behind him, C.C. had begun walking towards Kallen. It was only a matter of time before C.C. recognized her, which would be only slightly less mortifying and disastrous than if C.C. was recognized by Suzaku. She had to get Suzaku away from the green haired girl, fast, but only one idea came to mind. If this was what it took…

Putting the near-sickly and innocent school girl persona in a performance worthy of Hollywood, she faked a sickly cough and said "I'm better, but I'm still feeling a bit week. Would you care to join me today? It's been so long since I was at an amusement park I thought I'd spend the day, but it's just weird doing so alone, just after recovering…" Thankfully Tamaki exited the bathroom at that time, and seeing C.C. starting to wander off ran to catch her.

"Sorry Kallen. I'd love to, but I'm here on military business. Engineering branch, remember?" he asked, indicating himself. "A roller coaster here was broken, and after a few favors were called in my group agreed to try and fix it. Maybe later today, after I'm done?" C.C. proceeded to turn a corner to wherever she had decided to go, and Tamaki was still trying to catch up.

"Oh, alright then" Kallen agreed distantly, relieved at C.C. having left the area. "I think I'll be here awhile longer anyway," she admitted, still distracted with relief.

"I'll call you when I get off and see if you're still at the park then," Suzaku said, leaving Kallen to suddenly realize she had asked her fellow student, a Britannian soldier no less, on what could be seen as an impromptu date while she was on a mission for the Black Knights. Suzaku didn't appear to notice the not-fake-at-all mix of realization and green of dread that flashed across Kallen's face, but he did promptly proceed to give her a heart attack by turning and jogging in the exact direction that C.C. and Tamaki had left in.

--

"I can't thank you enough for agreeing to this, Lloyd," said the park manager, a fellow Britannian Earl by the name of Baker.

"Ah, it's the least I could do for an old classmate," Lloyd laughed. "Even amusement parks can use the most interesting technology. Isn't that right, Suzaku?" he said, turning to his young helper.

"I never imagined that roller coasters would use the same technology as the Lancelot's wheel-drive system," the young man admitted, before turning back to finding the broken part in the park's largest roller coaster.

"Suzaku? Not the Suzaku?" Baker asked. Seeing Lloyd's smile extend, he continued. "My daughter is a big fan of yours, and decided to join the medical corps after hearing about you."

Suzaku looked down embarrassment, and Lloyd decided to rub it in by pointing out that Baker was married to an Honorary Britanian, which made said daughter half-Japanese. Before he could do so to his satisfaction, though, Cecil spoke up from where she was working. "I found the problem, sir! There was just a short in the A-C router linkup, and that's what was cutting the power. I've replaced it, and everything else looks good."

"A-C? Damn European electronics, I swear they sabotage them. Thank you very much, Miss Cecil. This ride is the star attraction of this park, and it's good to see it up again." He quickly radioed in the fix, and the closed lines quickly opened. Park guests nearby rushed to fill up the lines that normally ranged between one and three hours, eager to be first in line.

"Thank you all very much once again," said Baker. "Would you care to watch the first ride from the control tower with me as thanks? It can be fun to see others enjoy themselves."

Cecil and Lloyd agreed, but Suzaku begged out on account of meeting a friend when he was done. Baker smiled and handed him two all-day first-class passes as thanks while Lloyd leered and Cecil strived to fend the eccentric Earl off, and then Baker led Lloyd and Cecil to the control booth. Once they got there, they watched as the first lines trickled in.

"They all look so happy," marveled Cecil, watching families laughing and teasing as they got into the seats.

"They do, don't they?" said Baker. "That's one reason I decided to start a park: to give everyone, Britannian or Eleven, a chance to relax and have fun. Life is frightening enough, especially with this latest wave of terrorism. But everyone needs to release, regardless of race."

"Well, there's one person who doesn't look to be having fun," commented Lloyd. "The scraggly guy with the green-haired girl on his arm." Looking at the screen, it was clear that while there was much teasing going on between the two, it was entirely one way.

"Perhaps he's afraid of roller coasters?" suggested Cecil.

--

"God damn you, woman!" Tamaki screamed, unable to stop clinging to the laughing woman as the car went through yet another nausea-inducing loop…

--

"You must be hungry after that," C.C. said ten minutes later, after Tamaki was able to leave the Hurler Gar, as the rail near the exit to the ride was commonly known as. Earl Baker had long since automized that area of cleanup, not willing to put even an Eleven in charge of that sort of steady flow of… mess. "Let's get some pizza to fill you back up."

"Fuck… you…" he wheezed, after checking to see that no children were in earshot.

"I doubt you'd survive another rollercoaster ride like that one."

Tamaki sprinted back to the Hurler Bar, and with seconds to spare.

--

Tamaki would have his revenge in subtle ways, but Kallen would be too preoccupied to appreciate them, now that Suzaku had been released early.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

It wasn't that she had offered and agreed to spend the day with the other Japanese man. After realizing that Suzaku had no flash of recognition after inadvertently seeing C.C. in her (flimsy) disguise, the Gurren's pilot had been able to relax her stomach to the point that its acids were not trying to escape her throat in an impressive attempt of the nerves to induce a violation of gravity. She had even begun to enjoy herself and wonder if Suzaku was conspicuously not looking at the green-haired girl who always just-so happened to be in the same area as them out of some sense of loyalty to her.

It wasn't even that Suzaku was a bad (platonic) date. He was attentive, courteous, and a perfect gentleman without being overbearing about it. Even if he insisted on paying on account that he had a paycheck and she didn't (and Kallen was more than happy to let others pay for her food), he didn't try and open every door or pull her chair out for her, chivalrous clap-trap she would have felt compelled to hit him for had he tried.

No, it was that she had given him the choice to choose lunch, and now she was stuck eating yet more pizza. She couldn't bear to protest when he had confessed that it had been forever since he had eaten a good pizza, and now she was stuck doing the same.

Which wouldn't have been so bad if C.C. hadn't forced Tamaki to drag her to the same pizza parlor, which Kallen should have seen coming, which was _stupid, stupid, stupid _of her, because if either recognized her and they realized she had been following them…

And to make it better, Tamaki was trying to remind every woman in the general vicinity why carrying mace was a good idea not just for protection, but to punish idiots.

"Suzaku," Kallen said softly, leaning over the table and inadvertently showing far more cleavage than she likely intended, "promise me you will never be like that guy."

At this point, Tamaki was trying to convince C.C. to stop before she had her fill. Appeals to finances or the impossibilities of eating any more were having no effect.

"Don't worry, Kallen," Suzaku reassured, valiantly trying (and succeeding!) at not looking below her eyes...

"Come on, _dear_," Tamaki said loudly, literally dragging a petulant C.C. away from another pizza and doing an admirable job of avoiding scratches to the face. "Haven't you been the one telling me you worry about your waist line? I'm doing this because I _love _you, remember?"

"I'm sure that if I ever do something that stupid, you'll beat me to my senses."

"Damn straight," she nodded, crossing her arms and nodding, before remembering she was supposed to be playing the act of a sickly girl. Suzaku laughed and offered her another slice.

--

It was approaching nightfall before Tamaki found something to keep C.C. occupied for an extended period of time. It wasn't the video arcade, which C.C. had promptly conquered most every game in a single play through, but the booth section. More importantly, it was the game booths with prizes.

"I want that," she said, pointing at a giant doll that Tamaki vaguely remembered from Pizza Hut. "Get it for me."

"Can we go home if I do?" he asked. "I thought I'd spend my birthday, you know, having fun. A party. Drinks. Maybe a hot girl at my side, especially when I wake up."

"I don't see where you would ever get that last one," C.C. said, "but fine. Only if you get it."

"This shouldn't be too hard," the Black Knight said, not even bother to fight with her now that escape was in sight. Rolling up his sleeve and walking up to a waffle ball game, he said "start me up," to the operator.

He lost, of course, and C.C. laughed at him, but he did make it on his third try and got a special token. "I'd like that prize," he said to the prize booth operator, indicating the doll in question.

"I'm sorry, sir," said the operator, looking nothing like it, "but that's the special Champion Prize. Only the most skilled champions who master every booth get one. Of course, you can cash in your token for lesser prizes, but if the girl is to get the prize you must earn it."

Tamaki looked back at C.C.

C.C. stared at the doll.

The doll's eyes stared at no one, but Tamaki imagined that they were staring at the back of his head.

"Fine," he muttered, "but you're helping. I'm not doing all this one my own."

He did, of course, and C.C. mocked and teased at every failure and tore into him whenever he turned around to retort, but…

It was sort of fun.

For a time, he forgot the war, forgot Britannia, forgot the world around him (including a surprisingly inconspicuous red head who was also enjoying a spirited competition at the booths with a brown-haired boy), and forgot everything but the woman he hated beside him. He made a valiant attempt to forget about her too, but she was always nagging in his ear…

--

It was nearly midnight when they walked back. Traffic was approaching a minimum, the stars were almost visible even through the city lights, and the chatter of people and civilization was silent.

It was almost peaceful. Even Tamaki and C.C. weren't trading insults, though that likely had much to do with Tamaki carrying a life-size doll for her as anything else. For a man who had been up for approaching twenty hours, he was still remarkably awake. When one travels with C.C., they have to be.

Like all good things, it couldn't last. As they passed through one more tunnel, a couple of teenagers stepped in front of the exit. A couple more were behind them, and that was the point when Tamaki passed the Cheese-kun doll to C.C. and began to reach for his gun he always kept in his jacket.

The lead punk pulled out his own gun, and spoke. "Let's keep this simple. Give us your cash and valuables, and no one gets shot. And don't even think of pulling that gun on us, tough guy."

Tamaki tensed, and could see C.C. watching him. "Fine," he said, remembering Zero's instructions. "I'm taking my wallet out of my pocket, nice and slow. Happy?"

"Better," said Lead Punk. "Now with the watch." Tamaki grunted, but bit his tongue and did it.

"Now you, girl." The gun shifted to C.C., but Tamaki stepped out.

"No," C.C. said. "I have nothing of value." She wouldn't agree, but she also knew that no one else would care about the doll.

"Bull. You two," he said, indicating two of the goons, "search her."

"No you don't!" yelled Tamaki. "If she says she doesn't have anything, she doesn't!"

The Leader sneered. "This coming from an Eleven who was so quick to throw away his own dignity along with his wallet just to survive? Hey, babe," he said, addressing C.C. "How'd you like to hang with some real men?"

"Well, _boy_," C.C. said back, stressing his age, "you'll have to grow up before you qualify. Why don't you go to your nice, warm, home and come back when you hit puberty? This one here is far more of a man than you'll ever be."

"Bitch," the punk snarled. "Search her nice and thorough," he said to his underlings, and raised his own gun at the two.

Tamaki positioned himself in front of C.C. with a cry. Berfore he could even reach for his own gun, though the Leader shot. Tamaki went down. C.C. kneeled by him.

"How long has it been since a man took a bullet for me?" she whispered, surprised by the contrast of what usually happened. Normally the man stood by as she was shot, or she took the shot for him. But if anyone heard her, no one answered.

"What did you say, bitch? Is he still more of a man?" C.C. said nothing, had no expression, before reaching for Tamaki's gun and standing.

"Yes," she said, and quickly shot the punks who had been standing behind them.

"Damn broad! Kill her!" Gunfire echoed down the chamber, and the gang approached to search the corpses.

"Damn it," the Leader cursed. "She killed them."

"Yes," said C.C., bloody but standing once more, "I did."

"She's not real! She's a bloody witch!"

"Yes," said C.C., pointing the gun at the leader who now stood within a few feet of her, "I am." And she fired.

The punks turned to run, and C.C. let them go. They could be tracked down later.

At this point, Kallen ran down the hall, following the sound of the shots. "Are you two alright?" asked another voice that C.C. didn't bother to turn around to see, or even ask why the two were there. She could only imagine that whoever it was who asked was to busy looking at the bodies and at the running backs to appreciate her bloody front.

"They fled that way," she said, gesturing, and the stranger's footsteps quickly followed. Kallen came over. "Tamaki…"

"Kallen…?" moaned the man, coming back into consciousness. "Thank god…"

"Are you alright? Stay still, we'll move you to a hospital. You'll survive."

"We…?" Then he caught sight of C.C., who was applying a makeshift bandage to his shoulder. "Thank god… Zero woulda been pissed if you got taken…"

"The situation was under control until you decided to play chivalrous knight," said C.C., no hint of compassion for the man in her voice. "Brats like them wouldn't have actually done anything fatal, you idiot."

"Go to hell… you damn bitch…" Tamaki muttered before passing out again.

"I will, no worries," said C.C. quietly, "but I'd rather not see you there as well on my account."

--

Tamaki, of course, survived. His friends in the Black Knights threw him a mix of a get-well and belated birthday party, and there was much laughter and drinking as the old-timers laughed and were relieved. Even Zero came by to wish Tamaki well and thank him in person, as well as assure him that the birthday and hospital bill was covered. There was even an attractive female Black Knight with purple hair who stooped to give him a kiss on the cheek in lieu of a present, and stayed behind after everyone else had left.

So in that sense, Tamaki got everything he had wanted for a birthday. A party, fun, drinks, and a cute girl at his side, especially in the morning. Getting shot at the last minute on his actual birthday was just the cost of being a Black Knight and fighting for Japan.

But, had he been in a mind to accept it, surely he could have claimed having two such days?

Surely an amusement park is nothing but an extended party for the enjoyment of all, no?

And, if he were piled up with enough alcohol, he would admit that some of the attractions had been enjoyable. Tamaki would never love roller coasters, but at least now he could claim to have gone on one of the biggest in the world and no longer be accused as a chicken.

Granted, the drinks were strictly non-alcoholic, but that made the victory no less sweet when he claimed one from the ever-dodging hands of his companion. Was there anything more intoxicating than success, and then the joy of being able to hold one over her head, beyond her reach? (Never mind when she would press herself close in order to reach, and he would panic and try to regain his distance…)

But I suppose the analogy breaks down there. Even if she was with him all day, even in the morning, and even if she was there to berate him when he woke up from surgery…

Tamaki would never see the woman he hated as a cute girl. And C.C. reciprocated.


End file.
